Nooooooooooooooo!

Keep MLS out of Portland!

Keep MLS out of Portland!

Portland, Ore. – Portland city leaders are willing to talk about borrowing as much as $75 million to help bring Major League Soccer to Portland.

At a news conference today, City Commissioner Randy Leonard and Merritt Paulson, owner of the Portland Timbers and the Portland Beavers, agreed it will take public participation to help turn the Rose City into a big-league sports town.

Paulson is applying for one of two MLS expansion teams that will begin play in 2011. If he succeeds, he wants city help making $40 million in improvements to PGE Park downtown and building a new home for the Triple A Beavers. A new minor-league park could cost $35 million.

Wow that sounds like a great idea! Let’s waste $75 million on a fucking MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER team, which in itself is an oxymoron because there is nothing major about soccer in the U.S., and the group of teams that make up MLS can hardly be considered a “league,” unless it’s a league like the one you play in on Wednesdays after a long day at the office.

To the city of Portland: No one cares! Give up! Don’t waste my fucking tax money! Look at it this way: soccer is SOOOO unpopular I could only find one decent pic when I typed “Major League Soccer” into google. That is just sad. Honestly, I’d rather see the city pursue an arena football team, or look into buying the Seahawks, changing their name to the Thunder and relocating them to Lincoln High School for a couple years while a new stadium is built.

Is that just piling on Seattle fans? Still, it’s more likely to happen than Portland getting an MLS team and actually having fans support it for an extended period of time. Portland City Commisioner Randy Leonard says there’s risk, like the risk he took when he got in his car this morning. No….it’s more like the risk you take by making out with an electrical socket—it might not kill you, but there’s no fucking point in the first place.

So here’s the question, Beer Gardeners: Are you excited for MLS in Portland?

15 responses to “Nooooooooooooooo!

  1. Your jingoism is only exceeded by your use of punctuation.

    Also you apparently don’t know how to GIS.

  2. I’m a huge fan of this plan. Portland is an awesome Soccer City and having MLS here will only make it better.

  3. Pingback: Some Additional MLS to Portland Press Conference Thoughts (Updated: Media Coverage) - - The Offside - Portland Timbers USL Blog

  4. Yes.

    I look forward to watching Timbers games and PSU Vikings games at a newly configured PGE Park. I think it will be great.

    I also think you use the word “fucking” far too frequently as a figurative qualifier for it to be really effective in a piece like this.

  5. Yes, super excited. Portland deserves another major league team and I’m thrilled its going to be MLS. But you should really read the proposal before doing a blog post…and you might want to look into spell check, too.

  6. You obviously don’t have a fucking clue about MLS or sports in general. Please eat a dick on fire!

  7. I certainly am excited about another Major League team in Portland and the fact that it is at minimal cost compared with 2 of the other 3 major leagues we don’t have. (of course NHL being the cheapest public cost since they have an arena already suited for NHL).

    It’s a shame that you haven’t had the chance to open your eyes and see the wonderful soccer culture this city has. It’s on par with the best soccer cultures in North America, and as I watch this culture from afar, I see that not only is Portland a soccer city, but the Northwest is soccer country.

    Notice that there are only 1 of each league in the northwest at the moment. Another MLS team in Portland and the potential for one in Vancouver is massive. The Timbers have history, and the history of the National Team visits and the huge success of Women’s World Cup and friendlies in PGE Park is evidence of this.

    Take it from a hockey fan.

    Wait, did you say move the Seahawks to LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL!? Well, you lost all credibility with that statement.

  8. Wow, you really know nothing about soccer in the USA. You should try going to a game at PGE park. The point here is not that one sport is less or more than another but a badly needed Lents area revitalisation plan. Soccer is not as huge of a sports market in the USA but is growing fast.

  9. The irony of your ignorance: come to the Timbers game on Thursday and try to get a seat in the beer garden.

    Unless you’re there super early, it’s impossible.

  10. 1) You need to actually attend a Portland Timbers game to see that thousands of people in this town care very much about soccer. A lot is going on around you that you don’t seem to be taking notice of.

    2) You need to actully read about the entire plan. You will see that it has huge benefits for the PSU football team, something that you seem to really care about. In truth, three major Portland sports teams will benefit from the $75K. The Timbers, Beavers, and PSU. Now that is something to get excited about.

  11. 1. You’re an idiot.

    2. If you actually followed the press conference, or gahd forbid, read Paulson’s actual plan, you’d know that the public portion of the investment isn’t coming from “your” tax money at all, so really no need to get your idiot undies in a knot.

    3. Of course Portlanders should be excited about this. Only an idiot wouldn’t be.

    4. Did I mention that you’re an idiot?

  12. Stop spewing off like some jackass and wake up. This is an excellent plan for an excellent town. But no, we get drivel like this, I wanna NFL team but only if somebody else pays for my tickets, and only if they win the souper bowl the first year waaaaa waaaaa. You got somebody to pay for your pointyball team??? [crickets] Didn’t think so. We got a great guy willing to put up alotta money to bring the MLS to Portland, good quality soccer, to out fair city. I support both Merritt and the City in this venture and even though I think the plan is not to use tax dollars, they have my support to use mine.

  13. Matthew- My idea to move the Seahawks was SARCASM, which unfortunately was missed. Actually, I’m from New England and I’m a Pats fan. I could really care less if Portland EVER gets an NFL team. That is a joke.

  14. Your ignorance is staggering! You used to write a sports column? Was it at No Research State U?

    It took me about one whole minute to find out that the money will come from bonds backed by the City of Portland that will be paid back through increased rents, revenue and taxes on players salaries, NOT TAXES.

    Oh, and if you can’t find any good MLS pictures on the web, you’re either too stupid to use Google or you’re a liar.

  15. Soccer is huge in Portland and I hope you have atleast been to a Timbers game before making these judgements. The Timbers Army is one of the best supporters groups in the country. Soccer is an amazing sport and MLS is on the rise.

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